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4.1 Watch and Learn: Part 2

Items Needed: 

 

Set the Stage: 

Review the three conflict styles (the turtle, the owl, the shark)

Discuss that while there isn’t just one way to resolve conflict, the Owl’s strategy is often, but not always, the best.

Distribute an Animals of Conflict Worksheet to each student.

Use the Teacher Reference Guide as an aid for the following discussion.

 

Focus on the Turtle: Give an example of when this strategy may be best, and give students a minute to fill in what Conflict Avoiders do when faced with conflict.

Ask students what would be the best thing to do if a bully on their street is threatening them.

  • I would walk away.

In this situation, it is appropriate to be a Turtle, or Conflict Avoider.

Invite students to write down, then share, their ideas of what a Conflict Avoider might do to resolve conflict.

  • He or she can walk away, change the subject, avoid bringing up a certain topic.

 

Focus on the Owl: Give an example of when this strategy may be best, and give students a minute to fill in what Solution Finders do when faced with conflict.

Explain that sometimes people work together to find a solution that makes everyone happy.

  • If two friends are arguing about wanting to see different movies, what might they do?
  • They could solve the problem together or find a compromise, such as seeing one movie this week and the other next week.
  • In this situation, it is appropriate to be an owl, or a Solution Finder.

Invite students to write down, then share, their ideas of what a Solution Finder might do to resolve conflict.

  • He or she can talk with the other person about the disagreement, state his or her feelings, listen, ask questions, work toward a compromise, use humor.

 

Focus on the Shark: Give an example of when this strategy may be best, and give students a minute to fill in what Conflict Controllers do when faced with conflict.

Explain that sometimes people just want their own way.

Give an example of a time when it’s appropriate to be a Shark because a situation would otherwise be unsafe.

  • When a younger sibling wants to play in the street and the older one doesn’t because it’s dangerous, what can they do?
  • The older sibling can take control and tell the younger one, “We’re not playing in the street, and that’s it.”

Invite students to write down, then share, their ideas of what a Conflict Controller might do to resolve conflict.

  • They try to “win” at any cost, get physical (hit, push), yell, criticize, interrupt, threaten, refuse to give in, bully others.

 

Explain that different situations call for different conflict resolution styles (the lower part of the worksheet).

Instruct the class to write some situations on the bottom half of their worksheet that would suit each type of conflict style.

  • Who can give some examples of the three styles?
    • I’d be a Conflict Avoider when the conflict is too hot to handle, there’s a danger of physical threat, tempers are flaring.
    • I’d be a Solution Finder when I can talk calmly about the problem.
    • I’d be a Conflict Controller when someone needs firm guidance to behave safely.

 

Activity:

Have students complete the Conflict-Style Comic Strips in diverse groups of three to four, identifying which conflict style is represented.

Reminder: Before distributing the strips, cut off the titles on each page so students don’t see the name of the comic or know which conflict style is associated with each.

Give each group one set of Conflict-Style Comic Strips (Owen the Owl, Tyler the Turtle, Shay the Shark).

  • In each comic, the main character is handling a situation as a Conflict Avoider (Turtle), Solution Finder (Owl), or Conflict Controller (Shark). It’s your group’s job to identify which comic is portraying which strategy.

As students work, encourage them to think about which clues are leading them to their decisions.

 

For Owen the Owl:

What was the conflict between Owen and Mia?

  • They both wanted to play basketball, but there was room for only one more player.

 

How did they resolve the conflict?

  • They took turns; they played rock-paper-scissors to decide who would go first.

 

What type of problem-solving approach did Owen use?

  • An Owl approach—the Solution Finder.

Were there any benefits to resolving the conflict this way?

  • Owen and Mia each got to play; they both felt good about the solution.

Were there any costs?

  • They couldn’t play together because there was room for only one of them.

Do you think this was the best way to resolve the conflict?

  • Yes, because they both were happy; they could have also chosen a different activity to do together.

 

For Shay the Shark:

What was the conflict with Shay and Jordan?

  • They disagreed on which movies to watch during a sleepover.

How did they resolve the conflict?

  • Jordan tried to compromise by suggesting they watch both movies; Shay didn’t want to compromise and ended up telling Jordan they wouldn’t watch her movie.

What type of problem-solving approach did Shay use?

  • A Shark approach—the Conflict Controller.

Were there any benefits to resolving the conflict this way?

  • Shay got to watch what she wanted.

Were there any costs?

  • Shay didn’t compromise; Shay controlled the situation; Jordan wasn’t happy, didn’t get to watch her movie.

Do you think this was the best way to resolve the conflict?

  • No, Jordan was upset and may not want to sleep over at Shay’s house again because she didn’t compromise.

 

For Tyler the Turtle:

What was the conflict with Tyler?

  • Jeremy brought cookies to school, but Tyler didn’t get one because someone took two; Tyler didn’t speak up and say he wanted a cookie.

How did Tyler resolve the conflict?

  • He let the student have two cookies; he didn’t want to cause any problems.

What type of problem-solving approach did Tyler use?

  • A Turtle approach—the Conflict Avoider.

Were there any benefits to resolving the conflict this way?

  • Tyler avoided a situation that was uncomfortable for him.

Were there any costs?

  • Tyler didn’t speak up; he was disappointed because he didn’t get a cookie.

How could Tyler have handled the conflict differently?

  • He could have spoken up and said he wanted a cookie when Jeremy asked him.