5.1 What Makes A Friend?
Items Needed:
- Login to the Harmony website and Copy/print and cut up the FRIENDSHIP STRIPS: https://online.harmonysel.org/grade-4-friendship-strips/ Links to an external site.
Set the Stage:
Facilitate a discussion about friendship and how it’s important to understand what students and classmates look for in a friend.
Friends are important throughout our lives, but the personal characteristics that make a good friend, and what we like to do with them for fun, could change as we get older. For today’s activity, we’re going to think about what makes a good friend in fourth grade.
Personal characteristics are qualities or traits. For example, what personal characteristics should doctors have?
- Doctors should be caring, hardworking, honest, good with people, responsible, good listeners, and knowledgeable of illnesses, diseases, and medicine.
The purpose of today’s activity is for each of you to better understand what you and your classmates look for in a friend.
Activity:
Give each student two Friendship Strips (one of each type) to fill out.
On one Friendship Strip, have the students finish the sentence, “I like friends who are…”
On the other Friendship Strip, have the students fill in the blank in the sentence, “I like to ______ with my friends.”
- There are no right or wrong answers. Write the response that honestly reflects how you think about friendships.
If students are having trouble thinking of ideas, walk around the room and offer suggestions.
When students have recorded their responses, collect the slips of paper and shuffle them.
Have students stand on the line (or in the aisle) and agree or disagree with example statements.
- Explain that you will read aloud the Friendship Strips one at a time.
- After each statement is read, if students agree, they should step towards the masking tape line (or aisle).
- If they disagree, step away from the line.
- If they agree or disagree only a little bit, stand close to the line, but if they agree or disagree a lot, stand farther from the line.
TIP: Post “Agree” and “Disagree” signs to help students remember which side of the line corresponds with each response.
Practice by saying aloud two examples.
- I like friends who are funny; I like to go to scary movies with my friends.
When finished with the examples, begin reading aloud the students’ responses one at a time and have students agree or disagree.
Take advantage of teachable moments.
Share your observations with students and ask them to make their own.
- Wow, it looks like all of you like friends who are funny; Look how far Addy is standing from the line… you really don’t like going to scary movies with your friends, do you?
- Take a look around. What do you see? Can someone make an observation?
Challenge gender stereotypes if they arise and remind students of the problems associated with stereotyping.
If only boys or girls seem to stand close to the line for certain characteristics or activities, encourage students to consider the social factors that contribute to gender differences.
- Notice how only boys are standing to the right of the line for playing hockey with their friends. Why?
- People tend to think hockey is for boys, so girls might feel funny or discouraged from playing hockey, even if they want to play.
Discuss why it is problematic if we think that only certain characteristics or activities are true of girls or boys.
- We might assume that some people don’t like certain activities—when they actually do—and don’t invite them to join us.
- We won’t try to make friends with other-gender peers because we assume boys and girls don’t have things in common or that we’ll get teased.
- We perform poorly in certain activities, or don’t try them at all, because we think our gender isn’t supposed to be good at them or like them.
Discuss how stereotypes may have affected us because we are noticing that girls and boys tend to choose certain activities or characteristics in this classroom.
- This is not true for all girls and boys.
- Let’s not forget [Class Name], we need to think for ourselves, “Think Fresh Thoughts” and not let stereotypes think for us!
Ask students to return to their seats and discuss the experience:
- Does our class agree which personal characteristics make a friend? Do we agree about the most fun activities to do with friends?
- Are there some personal characteristics that most of us like their friends to have? Are there some activities that we think are fun to do with friends?
- Did you and your friends stand on the same side of the line for every single statement?